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i need
YOU ♥
&no one else
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i need
YOU ♥
&no one else
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 say it all |
 kikin says HI(=
stubborn,menjeng,shy love my bby<3 |
 31.10.07 @ 2:17 PMLOVING MYSELF
 totally blue  making a wish**
been busybusy wif report ugh damn irritating plus the fac too hates-lah but despite that all i spent sometime loving myself hee(:
loves<3
though wads inside of me just remains empty got wad i wan to get the past would remains as it things are clearer now ending it cleanly heh cnt deny tt everything would still lingure here within me blahblah cnt imagine wads a like wen the dae comes to know tt was the last time spent together Sighs~ i know wads to come is just rejections :'( but i'll just pray that one day i'll find YOU mr blingbling.. if your reading this, im really dissapointed wif you saying all those things to me :'( i still cnt get over it thinking of it yah it brings me down-lah,SERIOUSLY why must you say those things bout me you know my past yet ugh :'(:'( missing yati alotlot loves her company-lah cnt wait fer saturday :):) bowling craze hits me HAHA cnt deny tt im still good heh -perasan- . . Actually we played 4 games tau bt i ferget to take the first results sowie ilost lah that time bt i catch up in the nxt round bleuks!! && one of them was very competitive wen playing hehe till must hear music till he get a STRIKE tyco sae!! 
tts my daes spent yesterdae, till nxt enty:) Labels: a form of hinderance back to top? |
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28.10.07 @ 12:51 AM ISOLATED
:'( im just so freaking ugh! im not tt type of gerl ok... all that was my PAST :'(:'(:'( . . . . my PAST just brings me dwn its just a person who i nvr tot i'd be and the things i've nvr tot i'd do pls dont let me be the gerl again i dont wan to do those things :'(:'( all i need is just one guy to prove tt they arent the same Labels: used up back to top? |
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27.10.07 @ 9:09 PM ANTIDOTE
feeling muchmuch better today yeah imlovingit!!! i w i l l s u r v i v e m r. im slowly picking up frm wad blah thing tts hapen haha ok im SETUPIT but yar im happy fer the happiness created by YOUYOUs . . i just dont care anymre tis time its SERIOOUS why should i be dwn... till wen right? not worth it-lah & i'll not do the things tt i should do no mre & i can do much more nice things be the kikinchi i used to be & want to be gerls just wanna have fun rite & im free to do wadever i want though i have some major responsibilites like taking cre of ERFAN my cyg hys the most precious gift tt i'll nvr let go hys mine muacks*** niwaes been busy wif sis wedding hmm & wth shahril ask me when's my turn to get married haha hmm*curls* maybe five yrs time erfan would be like five yrs old-lah & tts fine, hys still youngkn to know things buhoo :) cnt imagine how cute & charming mumys boy would be.. lalala heee . . . cnt wait fer 4th nov though thes no mre 18 thers still this thing tt will pop-up bt WDV its OVER too late to apologize tts just a HARSH ending .. shikin!! stop talking bt ur past lah babe my past cant chnge the future but my future would change the past knkn?! nvr will i look bck promise(: niwaes babies pls dun ferget nxt sunday okies loves** <3<3  Labels: hotel 81 back to top? |
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26.10.07 @ 9:12 PM I WANT IT
 kikin&herself..
lesson was so freaking confusing plus tedious = dont understand a thing hee oklah understand abitbit genetics interesting but confusing-lah niwaes went outlah after school after that tiring dae go somewher and relax & have fun hee ilioke sae how i wish... 
i like the bed, so soft&cozy (:
oklah need to rush my PP now. haiyo tt stupid fac. Labels: i lost back to top? |
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@ 1:07 PM IF YOU ASK ME
i just feel unfair OVER WAD HAPPEN . . . i'm trying to ferget BUT some things are just making me fall well i guess i just have to smile(: cause if hys happy i'll be happy but i'll nvr ferget all the things he did istillHATEhym :'( i know that i'll nvr ferget the memries be it swee or bitter but the thing tts important is tt i have to move on ther's no use thinking or hoping tt this would be the same or repeat as hys actions & words shows it all . . "..............i promise to myself tt i tkkn lepaskn you" one of the promises tt he made bt i guess its all just nthing maybe if fated i'll find my dreams in someone else Labels: blahblah back to top? |
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25.10.07 @ 1:44 PM BLOG THINGS
its truelah, im not obsessing too much time fer meself
haha
maybe tts why im this way
ehem!
my relationship with hym. its over. due to the blablah same things
i admitlah i kept losts of things insyd me till one day i just cant take it but thers still lots hidden within me ugh im tt type of person its hard fer me to let out haiyo.. the part of having a partner is not quite truelah its just tt i need hym to be ther fer me whenever i need someone Labels: time passes back to top? |
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24.10.07 @ 3:31 PM CALLING A CLOSURE
everything was thrown away not a single piece is left truth was all an act . . some encouragement is given & i guess i'll take that as a way to start anew everything happens for a REASON all i can do now is continuing my tinted life Labels: patience and prayers back to top? |
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23.10.07 @ 8:36 PM SILLY MARY
 i really do HATEcnt stop thinking of how stupid i am..
enough being said in the msges he sent me just now it really make me feel none other than some unmorally bitch who has no future .
.
changing back hps tmr its a must
& after that ur going to be a lover who i HATE the most
i promise tt this would be the end
no more of you in my life
i promise
.
.
one day you'll know
when the day comes
& the tables are turn around
things would be different
as fer me
one day the sun will shine on me -oh yeah
i just need to lead my life wif my deary erfan
its just the two of us
& no one else
bt not sure in the future
tt is wen fate takes its places
things would happen naturally
wen you least expect it
.
.
.
to-whom-it-may-concern & takecres plus cn deny i hate you
ur fauts are just ...labels . . all this are just merepek cause for you making things clear was nvr an issue hate me all you wan cause it will just kill me slowly balme me on everything cause it dosent mean anyhting you just a !@#$ in love wen ur the player love would just be a nthing less but a hurthing game . . & i cnt wait for the day to come everyone will be happy w/ot me arnd . . i wish.. i promise.. i swear.. Labels: unforgiven back to top? |
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@ 9:02 AM ARITFICIALS
& yar things tt i hope not to happen, HAPPENS those words tt he said & the actions tt he do all of it has a reason behind it . . got to know the real thing he told me not to trust wad others blog about so cn i trust hys own msges tt he sent ? well those wont lie . . as much as i love hym i guess i must sae i HATE hym fer treating me this way ......................................................... all i wanna do now is just get myself out of hys life he dont need me all the msgs explains everything the questions in my mind blame me for doing this as YOU are the one who's asking fer it. ....................................... im ending it here artificial sweetness of yours just kills me silently . . . why must he do all this stuff to me if he dosent want me than dont make me the spare tire!! fucking stupid kikin Labels: leave back to top? |
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22.10.07 @ 8:22 PM TIFF
all those tiff tts happening im leaving all of them behind for once im just wanting to live life to the fullest if i kept wasting my time all those shytys im just gonna be stuck there and yar being a stupid butterfly too :) . . hurt && im treating my wound blabla hees.. . . . fafan!!! mumy loves you cyg get well soon bby muacks . . cnt wait to go schlah tmr imissYASMIN!! heh & the rest have started sch liow :( wen cn we mit again uh? missyougerls must come hor 4thNOV heee!!!! super cant wait ......................................... to swit<3 though u're diff plus i dunnoe wher has ur sweetness went to i mishing you lotlots plspls be true to urself tell me ............................................. Mulanya sukar untuk ku tempuh Tapi terpaksa ku buat sejak kau tiada sendirian ku tanggungkan dukaku kepayahan memadam rindu Selama ini aku meyakini Kau bahagai dengan insan yang kau sanjungi ... . . tis is wad i felt before & i dont bout it now  Labels: stronger back to top? |
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@ 6:55 AM LOVE
NOW I KNOW THAT LOVE
WAS
JUST MEANT TO BE A PLAY THING
.
.
.
confuse
:'(:'(:'( evri tinz tat i do 2 make u one dream girl of mine bt wat i get lastly is yar. . . tt explains everything Labels: worst back to top? |
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21.10.07 @ 11:09 AM RINDU
BBY irinduyou muchmuch
.
.
.
im scaredlah cyg scared that things would change again scared to have one day knowing tt you'll left me again scared to know tt all tis was just sememtare are you doing this on purpose? jst cause of things tt happen btwn u&her ;'( ................................................. IM TO BLAME!! :( contradicting eveyword u sae,everything you do . . && ur paidlow hxhx cnt msg wif me huh.. niwaes have fun raye-ing wif ur cuzies :( im letting all tt you said to mee sink in & i just dont know wad will happen nxt Labels: somethings not right back to top? |
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19.10.07 @ 9:02 PM SHOPAHOLIC
 loving every single kisses frm bbyhaiyo.. tired shoppingshopshop!! (: . . . met in the morning & went to aunty's hse its been a long time-lah hmm.. followed hym sent kuih & we ate after tt the chicken rice looks deliciouslah bt i nvr buy it cause i wanna try something else tried the noodle chicken rice errm overall i prefer the minced chickn noodles at wdls(: . . went to raffles to collect the free-gift it was an MP3 player && someones have to forke-out 18bucks hee cian dier!! muacks* headed to bugis then.. where i bought my new shoes,top&ear-rings awwh so nice lah cant wait to where them out bt i fall-in-love with the striped cardigan!!!!! $22.90 & yar i didnt get to buy them :(:(:(:( ........................................................ bby been irritating me lah today he make me mad fer nthing eee!! i ingat tau.. tkkan luper . . but tnx-lah fer being so super sweet+loving bby bought me strawberry milk plus choco heee pandai nk amek hati org (: &&& he's so 'gentlement' hee carry my stuffs fer me, chose fer me my top,shoes& earing muacks!! love<3you enjoyed every single second spent wif you to day imissyour KISSES&HUGS lalingku muacksmuacks** ............................................................... Labels: new stuffs back to top? |
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18.10.07 @ 10:50 PM LOVING ALL OF YOU
 GFS are lovedtnx fer being ther fer me bbys(:
  me&minsnapsnapsnap!!!
 she jeaslous-lah of my hair..hees
  someone's attracted to akim;)she said he's cute haha take note tau
&& its me n hym
still unsure of things
its getting complicated
.
.
.
.
why must you remain the same?
with all those lies you make us belief
you make us put hope
den confuse us with those words
i just dont noe cyg
tried calling you lots of tyme
but
ugh!!
-wdv-
.
.
wad am i actually to you?
pls explain
your hinding things AGAIN
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@ 12:19 PM GOOD GERL
&& i enjoyed my dae yesterdae with all of YOUs im tired sae went home arnd 11 plus lah visiting houses heh(: . . . in sch now uploding ysterdae pixes && i dunnoe why-lah today i so rajin reading all resources, doing werk & stuff haha . . plus guess wad?! todays the 18th i was so damn blurr last nite cause i tot the 18th would fall on friday-lah hee sowie ehk you;) . . mthsary 2yrs11mths whoa!! un-sangke-able heh *thinking* bby icygyou bt i still tk phm why you did all those stuffs the cycle thingy again.. ugh . . niwaes hope you guys have a super gr8 dae oteh(: loves<3 ............................................. i wan my shawl-lah cyg wen ehk u wan to pass it to me hee tk cabar nk use it to school(: maceh cygku ..................................... Labels: sweets back to top? |
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15.10.07 @ 7:40 PM ERM
someone: u i mis u.. :'( i tau i bnyk salah dn u.. i nk mintk maaf dgn u tap tk kesampaian . . someone: hxhx. i knw y u hate me tiz much,harap2 buka kan lah mata dan hati u.. i mish u so much..im sOry.i tau u da mOve on cyg.. . . me: erm sowie bt ni sape i got to know who that someone is i was suprise as i thought he'd gone frm my life :( . . someone: so yar.. u wudnt wan 2 tOk to me.u had move on. u make ur own decision. u didnt bother 2 let me tok to u even for a min. u chnage dear.n i knw everythinnw bcOz of me.u hate me.u wudnt wan 2 mit me.u leave me. u didnt even bother animore yim ignoring u n u juz gve up u juz knw 2 cry n cry then make me e 1 at fault.asal u gve up. asal u bukan mcm me. keep caling u!n i wan u 2 b lyke me.bt in e end u gve up.i did tiz cOz i wna u to gain mre confidence for yourself dear..pls..i had read everyhtin in ur blog.bt everythin including ur words was all juz pretendin 2 be hapy n had move on.bt 2 u everythin tt i saih here iz juz me reapeting n make u suffer then im sory.did u ever remeber tt i janji dgn diri i tat i tk kan tglkn u.u ingt? n y stil u r e 1 leavin.coz i leave??no!did u knw e werds tt u gven me b4 tiz n we had been discusin abt it..its reali hurt tt my wife,e 1 yg sepatotnye beri semangat kt suaminye, blindly gvin -ve encouragement.. hw u?hw.. haix.1 tinz tat i cn hope nw reply pls. . . . . . . i still dont understand why he did all those things Labels: stunned back to top? |
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14.10.07 @ 1:11 AM HARI RAYA
& todays hari raya yeah muacks* to all busybusybusy from morning-lah . . & its erfans first tyme raye bnyk collection sae jealous mumy hmm.. but ibu sounds better kn? niwaes i wanna open an acc fer hym ceh start planning fer hys future . . took lots of pixes camera baru katekn but mcm wasted-lah cause got to know tt rosly can get my cam fer a cheaper price if i noe i ask hym buy sae :) . . im keeping myself occupied so as to ferget my past blablah ... . . . cnt wait fer weds gfs coming dwn to my hse plus im trying to fit a time to bring fan, visit hys grandma hmm . . failure is an opportunity to begin again more inteligently . . glad to have frens by myside (: uploading the pixes tmr, if i have the time whoa its one plus ready lah sae bt im not cleppy Labels: crushed back to top? |
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13.10.07 @ 12:30 AM 2 YRS PLUS
it started out as cicak&kucing knowing each other from MIRC . . . ..msges ..calls pure sweetness . . i sent my pic lah to hym hee & he kept the envelop and stuff till one dae he gave it back to me asking me to keep all my diaries,letters so that i realise how were we in the past heh . . 18nov04 it was hari raya season-lah & we met . i was out wif my friends lah den he msged me,saying that can he come over to my place my first reaction was blank lah NERVOUS&my heart was -godknows- wad i felt . . i think ther from bedok or wad-lah & they took tax to my place they got lost due to someone's ear prob i said 270 but he heard 470 hee . . i was in purple waiting fer them at the bustop-lah plus on the phone with hym trying to give the correct directions to reach my place & finally they reached . . i was the only gerl among them efi,sub,hym,mohsin & i dont know which one is hym they all pretend to be hym-lah :) cutes & i hys the one in white with the golden hair sungguh matrip . . we then continued our raye-ing went to mit my friends & they're going to one of my CI's place hee something happen there-lah . . efi&hys frens dosent follow us up as they want to smoke it was just me,hym& my frens i was nervous but i kept my cool (: my frens all went but i and hym was left outside cause.. he MALU nk go in till i have to pujok hym in but of course it failed lastly, the tuan-rumah jemput hym masok haha & he did . . the most unforgettable thing is that we were asks to take pics together just the both of us they tought we were couples we sat far apart-lah & my CI asks us to get closer abit jng malumalu bt we were shycats nyeheh . . the last house of the day was yanti hse it was getting late & they have to leave to catch the last train of course when they're off one of my frens had a crush on efi-lah hee & we started to talk bt them . . hmm memries . . & he called me at midnight slowly he asks the bonus qns hee & i accepted hym(: . . THAT WAS MY 1ST RAYE WITH HYM 2005 it was the 2nd raye spent with hym & he trick me-lah saying that he would not be coming dwn to my hse but hys cuzzies are oh yar.. i was having my SS paper the next day & i have to study . . he's actually hiding behind on of the blocks lah hee hys in white again . . ouhk the thing tt strikes out from the second raye t i sepent with hym are firstly, the dumping of telur thingy ... i was serving them mee goreng-lah tt my dad cook & while i was cuming bck to the table they were like laughing away & i saw hym stiring the sambal actually he wanted to take the telur but then it fell & bukannye nk angkat tau he dump it in haiyo! . . 2nd thing was ila hse ..let me tell you something guys if he eats somthing tts hot, he will surely pespire and tt wads happen at ila hse he kene tegur wif ila's dad while eating hys mee " asal berpeluh, pedas ehk..?" " tklah cik..panas" hee(: . . third thing, abit unpleasent bt i still remember i dont know for wad reason he get mad at me & hafiz was the middle person -lah he ask me & advise me on stuff just cause of that wen i came to hys hse && we took photos he wasnt inside any of the photos as he's bingit-lah ugh he's the photo taker wasted kn . . hmm imisshthem all these memries . . . hoping though Labels: stories back to top? |
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12.10.07 @ 10:55 PM UNINTENTIONALLY
HAPPY RAYE-ING TO ALL MUACKS** kikin wanna ucapkan selamat hari raye to YOU, you & YOU darls out ther && hope you guys fergive the mistakes that i made-lah my wrong actions & any of wad i sae tt hurts lah *begbeg* updating sumre ltr cause im not clepping-lah com'on it raye && i feel like sharing some of my memries hee nthing better to do imissthose clumsyness.shyness.closeness ....................................... & to hym if he's reading-lah im really sorry fer everything i had done from the first time i've known you cyg (cn i call you tt??) hee. just pampering myself ther no use of me cntacting you cause you wont reply bt, at least i can share wat i wan to tell you here(: imissue & im glad tt your happy now takecre yeah ........................................ my past memries 18 nov 04 the first.sesat.golden hair.white baju kurung.you,efi,sub,mohsin.raye-ing photos. Labels: 18 nov back to top? |
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@ 9:52 AM LOVING IT
sanggupkah kau bersabar syg untuk bersama diriku dlm menempuh dugaan yg serba mencabar sanggupkah kau bersabar syg susah senang bersama ku semoga kau tk menyesal berkwn dgn ku sedarkah engkau hidup aku serba kekurangan cuma yg ada kasih yg ikhlas untuk diri mu usahlah kau memaksa apa yg aku tk mampu lakukan jikalau kau benar menyayangi ku hendaklah engkau bersabar kau harus memahami jiwaku dan hidupku barulah engkau akan mengerti tiada gunanya kita bertengkar hanyalah merenggangkan hubungan kita kita hanya mampu merancang masa dpn tetapi tuhan yg menentukan segalanya kiranya kau sudah tk mampu bersabar lagi apa lah daya ku tk mampu hidup dgn mu sanggupkah kau bersabar syg menungu diriku ini berikanlah aku ruang berteduh dihatimu untuk selamanya ..................................................... tis song so meaningful-lah i like it alot ugh :( thers still hopes tiny-winy ones most of them are shattered bt i will be strong whoknowsitsfate ........................................................ tmrs gg to be HARI AYE & its erfan's first one & its my first one w/ot papa arnd imisshim :'( . . . . . some memries are just relive by others istillremember those times & yeah like she said its over maybe one dae someone would come to realise the reason why such things happen . . its just memries now deep dwn true feelings would still live but i'll move on as he's moved on too im trying &&when the dae comes i know i could relive back all the memries with my loved ones . . the most precious gift is the feeling of love tt i ever felt & i would pass it on to my precious one muhd erfan bin ... mumy love you muacks** . . the thing is wad would i ans him if he ask wher's dady? .... Labels: trying back to top? |
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 hur love♥
hys my pillar of strength |
hur guy♥
since 020308 all the things that we went through taught me the meaning of lurve  recent entriesheartless souls something new when the skies filled with red hearts get-away vacation tell you one time my little note of dreams laugh my heart out lets dance in the rain repeatition dearest start |
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BANNER
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bby imysm< 
