|
i need
YOU ♥
&no one else
|
|
|
i need
YOU ♥
&no one else
|
 say it all |
 kikin says HI(=
stubborn,menjeng,shy love my bby<3 |
 30.9.07 @ 10:09 PM& IT GOES
tiring day its like hse cleaning lah my hse now has become like a karang guni hse messy.stuffy hmm while i was spring cleaning i came across this teddy its pink,soft,cute,haf a heart at one of its toes & was a gift fer me frm someone to make me cheer up it reminded me of kukinchi my past the most hurtful thing tt ive ever went thru in my life :( i realise ive went thru lots of things in my life especially pain ugh! wen will the table turn again i shall not try to hard yet search & let it come naturally ive take bck my words im not ready plus i feel incomplete with hym let fate take its course i will just workhard to achive my aims in life its coming to october o.m.g time flies so quickly i have not touch my PP haiyo!! & 13 daes more dots-lah hope my wad i wished fer came thru hx:'( Labels: deceiver back to top? |
|
|
29.9.07 @ 7:44 PM LOST
what a dae i've lost in the battle of love i cnt lie to myself bout my feelings its still the same but i just haf to let go LET IT BE ME mama bought me a black baju raya just like i wanted its not gonna be the three of us, not a family no mre its just me and fan sobs its so hurting even to let hym go haix i hafta stop thinking bout hym cause my life would be turned around it would be me bck in the daes no mre hym in my life no mre hugs & kisses no mre daddy fan no mre bby&cyg no mre love dreams are just gone now who wud light up my daes when im down i wonder ugh! gerls beware if go geylang cz is so pack n you might get pissed like me due to pevertic pakcik gatal fuck-lah!! how i wish my late dad was thre to just slap his face!!!!! ............................................................................................... sakit hati ini bagai dihiris sembilu sesak nafas ini bila ku mendapat tahu kasih ku berikan tak berharga cyg kau bermain dgn silang kata hingga aku benar-benar tlh jatuh cinta cyg sesungguhnya aku tk menduga engkau insan yg tk blh ku percaya rindu-rinduan jadi dendam-dendaman insan ku cyg kini milik org kasih dan cyg jadi benci&dendam dimanakh setiamu dimanakh rindumu aku kau pgl cyg dia kau pgl cyg mana satu mahu mu kau berikn ku rindu kau beri kn nya cinta oh, ku tk tahu tergamaknya dirimu meracuni jiwaku dlm senyuman selamat tgl cyg aku mengundur diri ....................................................................................................................................... this song is so so wad im feeling rite now hx sobsobs lets haf da LASTS Labels: miss my past back to top? |
|
|
@ 9:27 AM PARANOID
COMPLETELY HAD ENUF dun wanna get hurt animre :'( just hating me stupid,dumb,useless at tis very moment im gonna lose all my hopes memries wud just be kept it was nvr meant to be all plans was just to pamper my hopes Labels: tears back to top? |
|
|
28.9.07 @ 1:51 PM PLANS
 
after much hesitance & despite the lazyness i went to school haha was having a bad stomach ache lah hees as you know those are just excuses well, bby was switlah todae muacks* was up wif that bby? bt i try not to think much into that was listening the radio & its about the subaru challenge how i wish he cud join in plus win the CAR fer me wow. &&& i reali super duper cant wait fer nxt week cause we plannning to go out yeah!! im mitting hym again i guess we're going to geylang & TM gonna get tt couple rings that we plan fer & hope to get the baju raye fer hym hees bt im scared tt it wud just be a dream all this swit little things tt we plan oh god *crossing fringers* plspls(; though things between us is still unsolve we're together like none of the shyts ever exists DUH!! another thing i hope things wud be clear soon hxhx i dun wanna be HURT again despite having second taughts of hym -.- i soo cnt wait!! Labels: sweet rings back to top? |
|
|
27.9.07 @ 9:09 PM MEMRIES
 came across this in one of the profilesits so cool l.o.v.e is c.i.n.t.a
enjoyed every second spent wif hym just now muacks* can i sae ilurveyou bby finally each one of us got sumthing hym hys new pair of jeans & me my greeny dress not forgetting the sweet earing he bought me tnx cyg he was kissing plus hugging me all the way ugh god noes how much ive been missing moments :'( if given a chance i want to take hym away just me,hym,erfan living happily ever after haix..
there i goes again dreaming bt tis.. ^.^
niwaes (: hees i love to get hym tt pair of 60 bucks jeans he'll look hot with that bt having second thoughts as the black straight cut jeans look great too i'll consider maybe nxt mth? && i cnt wait for us to mit again go geylang buke together lyk dulu missmiss that tyme plus i want hym to haf a black aju raye bleh? plspls . . . hmm.. we didnt tok bt things jst now putting things behind i guess bt it just haunts me things are just unclear i dunnoe what he wants in the end its up to hym hys decision things jst go on like this 4eva haix bt wad i noe& its 4eva . . believe me bby i LURVEONLYYOU Labels: just you back to top? |
|
|
@ 10:47 AM CROSS MY HEART
haiyo i SKIPPED school again lah the bus 18 was stuck in the jam for lyk many hrs &&& the rain was so damn heavy lah sae therefore i cnt go dwn at the greenview busstop huh! plus i have a sore eye!! :( today so slacking lah go sch w/ot makeup so pale face of mine miss specy okay.. so ive skipped a total of 4 daes & tt means i haf 6 mre daes left hmm i hope i cud deal with the 6 daes haha! ;) PP i havent start it yet and its due tis nov wth!!! i cnt make it lah must do interview then a report of two thousand words in the mood of celebrating HARI RAYA hees ^.^ btbt tts not & excuse i noe . . . . hmm.. so called mama bt she nvr answer my calls && called hym brr i dunnoe lah he actually called me earlier bt i rejected it & nvr call bck mixed feelings currently i dunnoe wads my status with hym well things are just normal to hym bohoo my last night msges was nthing lah hah, i know he just ignoring all those things tell me gerls.. how long cud you stay in a relationship having known tt ur guy is also having another gerl out of love, i cud still hang on but then the feeling of hurt its lyk forever ther how much longer must i stnd all this pain do i deserve all this?? SICK+TIRED=BO CHUP haix.. wen will my lyfe be lyk 2 yrs bck me being me, happy,freedom,love,free from all this shyts bby i dunnoe how much longer i can hold on things are just the same everything is YOU currently waiting fer hym to call & conferm wad time to mit.. we're miting but issit fer the last tyme?? brr Labels: hearts back to top? |
|
|
26.9.07 @ 9:34 PM UN-UNDERSTOOD
finally i told hym my decision shall not elaborate here how things are going right now . . i lurve hym doing tis fer hym bt things just stays the same . . i dun understand why im not convince currently now feeling guilty it must be cause of me tt someone said the freedom of writting in her blog is taken away blog is wher someone pour their feelings and things tt they went thru & its in the net and other ppl can access it to read DAMN GUILTY!!! my fault me.me.me yeah i noe mre bout stuffs frm her blog if its nt fer her i'd be the GUNDU not knowing the truth and presume things are jst fine && its even worst!! the decision i made earlier is not the influences of what she wrote its just the things tt ive went thru tis past few mths the same cycle & everything just stays the same i thought letting hym go would end this hurt in me but its still here STUCK. why dnt he wanna let go of me? things would be much better without me .. i still remember the time after confrontation of things he choses her and things went well btwn them i was left 1 mth plus till hys mum called me one dae I dun understand what is in hys mind aku rele let hym go jst coz of them bt y must he ~ wudnt things be fine lyk last time he left me thers nthing wrg btwn them ther're loving.swit no longer nid to think bout shyts . . why must he stick to two bt not just one the one he truly love??? sobs:( i dunnoe confuse state l.o.v.e is s.a.c.r.i.f.i.c.e Labels: stoin back to top? |
|
|
25.9.07 @ 12:46 PM GIVING UP
IVE MADE MY DECISION which is to give up on this relationship . . . . im going to repeat this for the last time in my life i don't want things to happen again i wanna put an end to the cycle heres a story of two gerls that fall in lurve on the same guy this story has many repeatitions, i dont know who was actually at fault but i guess it just fate but the story had to end with a gerl giving up her lurve for this boy . . . . i saw the msg that she posted and it really prove me that hys lurve is not fer me looking at the way he treated me when we're together and the things that happen this year the feeling of hys lurve towards me is just fading away im giving up on this relationship i have my own reasons i cnt take it anymore i cnt stand gg thru all this pile of challenges im tired i dun wanna reflect bck on the things that i've went thru its just my hurtful past & im not letting it be my future . . . im toking to hym rite now its just so hard for me to say it up to hym i CNT why must it be so hard for me :'( . . . .... things left is just memries ive lost lots of things pity me blame it on my stupidity . . he hungup on me :( . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . im sorry bby i dnt want you to pretend i want you to be who you are you know it deep dwn in your heart go persue it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Labels: letting go back to top? |
|
|
24.9.07 @ 9:12 AM REFLECTIONS
 so pwetty rose. hw i wish someone would gave it to me
 && imishmybby;pic taken wen were at JB
hokay.. so school started out last week had to skip school the first two daes cause of my lappy some irresponsible guy didn't return it & i hafta come down personally to take it &&& coincidence it was the 18th hmm..despite the anger and hatered, i still gave bby the tees that i bought for hym TOPMAN! lah, cnt get hym HAVANAS hees. he came dwn wif the just-waken-up-face of hys the way he treated me was like nothing grr.. nothing ever happen btwn us but actually we were quarreling the last few daes & hys been treating me as if i dun exist!! no picking up MY calls and replying MY msges yeah..he said that hys ppaid was low bt he still cn answer calls from YANA. -.- LURVE for hym still lives within me but i guess it would be just a matter of tyme this love triangle is jst not working out im still holding on though.. flowing hys flow.. sobsobs:( many things had happen in my life & wen it comes to relationship i'd remember wat my sis told me .."dalah shikin..laki tknkkn kau nyer." IT HURTS to know the fact lah but wat i need now is jst frens who could help me through things that hapen in my life hmm.. bout school i still need tyme to get use to my classmates & the modules modules are super tough = must work extra hard i can do it!! jst one more year to go & i cn grad in peace(: after that hafta worry bout erfan's future plus mine hees i feel so adultish :) thing that i cnt wait is.. HARI RAYA & MY SIS WEDDING super cnt wait!! few mre weeks to go.. &hys werking rite now, cnt wait to know hows everything hees hys ppaid low till i cnt call hym bt jst leave msges imissYOU bby
wonder wen we will get to mit again
i wanna follow you buy baju raya
its gonna be blake rite
me.YOU.erfan
so swit plus cute family
:)
Labels: newchapter back to top? |
|
|
15.9.07 @ 2:22 PM LOSING GRIP
hys been ignoring me & im worried bout my lappy . . WTH he just msged me while i'm blogging this entry hym:sorry.. i just tersadar, i aru bgn, i bkn sengaje k tk nk angkat ur cals..bgn je gni!hxhx haiyo..i dunnoe how to react andwat to sae frm yesterdae, i keptcling hym and thers no reply plus today mrg till now GRR!! if he's asleep yesterdae, it was early and its impossible fer hym to wake up late WDV niwaes, tings btwn me & hym plus tis relationship of ours it very complicated the question is now why did he did all those stuff all the stuff that he did, makes me feel that i'm the cause of their separation my mind is filled with all this nonsense im sick and tired of all this lies and games if i told hym wad i feel, he wud give me all those stupig reasons & i'll nvr get to know the real thing he jst dont haf the guts to own it up! if i nvr tell hym and kept it insyd me.. im the one suffering plus hym having-loads-of- time wif her and the same things wud be gg on&on he wud just pretend tt things are gg fine . . . . wad shud i do? hxhx feel lyke giving up on tis with or without me he can manage she's alwaes ther fer hym if im nt arnd plus they love each other even the blind can see it love is sumthing tt can be felt and sense by others im stuck her nt knowing wads the cuming outcum bt wadever it is i must be strg maybe its fate tt im not meant fer hym maybe its just hym forcing hymslf towards this relationship all along all i nid now is frens plus confidence & a touch of love frm hym so tt i cn move on to face other challanges "we were just find,before ..." quoted sumwher feeling really dwn i shud jst give in fer others.. sobs:( Labels: lonely back to top? |
|
|
11.9.07 @ 10:51 PM LIES
Went to JB with hys mum and aunt yesterdae feeling really akward!! many things happen.. im feeling DAMN guilty cos of my curfew the time clashes wif the time i had to get back home mama & erfan was on my mind.. feeling very scared plus guilty every second IM REALLY REALLY SORRY AUNTY.. plus tnx fer everything that they did fer me:) well sumone at first said sumthing bout taking me round the area with a bike bt then, he chnge hys plan instead he stick with hys cuzzy leaving me alne in the hse BOHOO!! . . . oteh..tts yesterdae!! borrowed hym my lappy, after much reluctance plus i now hys hiding sumthing frm me isnt enuf of wad YOU had done??!!! wth thank god thers sumthing i cn take my mind of with muacks* to YOU :) Labels: had enuf back to top? |
|
|
9.9.07 @ 9:03 AM DRIFTING AWAY
nyeheh:) ive made up my mind not to put my heart and soul i noe in the end i wud lose it anywae wanna sae tnx to HER fer uploading sumthing tt makes me realise hys lies hemph! im not stupid bby grr!! actually i realise that they met on fri WTH tts why he switched of his phone haha nk step hp batt low and plus tt is why he dont wanna go out wif me he said he MALAS stuuupid me!!! im sick and tired of this life alwaes putting hym in my first list & its alwaes my to give in & its alwaes me to take cre of ur fregile heart blahblah hate it! im not ur slave for once i must put it to end hope u guys stay happy lors!! *counting dwn wif you guys* 13 sept.. 4 daes to go HAF FUN bt the ting i dnt understnd is why mustnt he persue hys love towards her arent they bth in love with each other?? confusing time will tell bby hylyting hys hair grey wif efi.. wonder how he'd look like hmm... it sud be mre fircer face or makes hym look HOT HAHAHAH:) cnt wait to see hym niwaes haf tis feelings towards hym hys like nt paying much attention to me well, im the one whu alwaes search fer hym, asking hym went to go out and mit blahblah and he dosent even seem to cre bt all this stuff hys like gg wif the flow niwaes miss hym lots plus been looking arnd sum stuff lately and i realise i nid to haf this big chnge IN MY LIFE!! Labels: another lie back to top? |
|
|
6.9.07 @ 10:07 PM LURVE MY MUMY
ilurvemyMUM w/ot her im nthing she's my strength went out SHOPPING wif her you noe im a shopaholic!!! i fetish all fancies.. mama kikin cyg mama*!! she bought fer my a watch,bag,cardigan,jeans plus tees tnxtnx!! muacks* oh yar.. twisted continuation to y'terdaes story hym:Morning b..muahz! imishue lar dear. im sory 4 wad happen again. hx..b nga uat pe? pape cal me lar k..ilurveeu cyg. first reaction to tis msg was . . . . O.M.G!!! iSTILL lurve hym:) plus is he forcing hymself to treat me tt wae? or.. he slh send or.. actully thers sumthing behind all tt? nyeheh.. NTHLAH im tired & & i bumped into her at bugis BHG hees, so unexpected my result are out already shyts lar lyk wad i expected i didnt put in effort fer tis sem my GPA went down frm 2.55 to 2.25 shikin!!! buck up!! Labels: loving mum back to top? |
|
|
5.9.07 @ 9:58 PM LOSING MY MIND
it ended so soon nvr tot it wud but all hell break lose i cnt store it in me, all my feelings tt i hide all the things left unspoken by the two of them all my dreams are shattered again but wad wrg did i did?? . . i will nvr reacted tt wae if he had told me everything and being honest wif the things that he did all the times spent all the memries created all effort put in this relationship is all GONE he contacted her coz of me? my attitude probs? den wad bout the met ups? the hugs and kisses given to each other? the love made? wad am i to hym? am i to be treated tis way by hym?? i wudnt haf it if its not cos of hym how cud i let go of things and keep my mouth and feelings dwn if things are DAMN obvious i trusted hym, chances given many times bt he's still the same . . to hym.. dulu all the reason you gave me is coz u dun wanna hurt our feelings. tts y u lied, tts y u contacted her. and now things are mre and mre obvious the photos!! in ur room, ur wallet plus god noe wherelse u put them all along wif you ive went thru alot lot being left by you during me having erfan, gg thru it was so hard wher were you? you we having fun wif her, having ur gre8 time and as fer me, everyone was pointing fingers and i was blame fer my dads death ive lost someone coz of stupid things i did wif you and yana was tru, AKU ni mmg!!! before all this shyts everything was fine thers nthing wrg they we a very HAPPY,LOVING couple aku penyebab ni sumer!!!!! AKU AKU AKU hate me all you want khai ie went thru lots all i feel is ur lies bt i still loveyou bt does tt even matter to you rite now? even w/ot me you cud live w/ot me you had her she is my replacement she loves you mre shes everything you want shes nt lyk me she suits ur tastes she knows wad u want she understnd u mre shes the one whu makes u happy all the time im nt needed by you :(:(:((:(: nvr needed u were fine off w/ot me congrats khai&yana go ceb tis cuming 1st yr ann together :(:(:( . . enuf of my heartbreaks!!!! ive had it ive nthing else to offer you nthing else to give you've taken everything nthings left fer me. i MUST all my best to ferget you i dun wana disturb ur life i dun wan to be the third party fer u guys ive had it wif ur LIES ive had it wif everything . . . but im gg to missyou the way u make me smile ur hugs,kisses, LOVE the way u laugh at me wen i did stupid things the way u brush my hair to make me the cutess gerl the wae u treat erfan the time spent us together and just us those momments wud be memries ur the one whu left me ur the one to blame and not me gud by my lover, gud bye my fren.. u had been the one u had been the one fer me im just plainly me nw nthing to look up at im nthing!!!! Labels: congrats to YOU back to top? |
|
|
@ 12:51 PM FCK
prepaid low!?! he dosent even bother lah in the toilet ehk, cn bring hp sumre fer wad? of course lah talking on the phone rite told hys mum wad i feel deep dwn insyd i cnt hold it on to me any longer shyt i cried while talking :( crybaby.. BITCH!! oh well, you made my dae had enuf of you alrite!! if you cud do anything i cud do it to same goes to you mr i hate you and YOU I DUN NEED YOUR PITYNESS enuf of the heart break u've done i had enuf omg!!he left me..:( nvr tot our quarrels lead to this. why must it be? ilurveyou cyg yet, you let me go out of angeR INEEDYOU,JUST THE TRUE YOU
Labels: breaklose back to top? |
|
|
4.9.07 @ 6:53 PM THOSE PIXS
went ot mama hse and bby sit mickey again todae brr.. hys engross wif the ps2 games left me alone hanging ther surviving out of boredem well.. i did sumthing to keep meself occupied saw someone pixies in hys wallet my heart was crushed into pieces left a note . . . hope he'll find it soon im soo tired of all this shyts i dont know hu he truely loves i feel of letting go should i? hw bt erfan and my feelings.. hxhx Labels: in the middle back to top? |
 hur love♥
hys my pillar of strength |
hur guy♥
since 020308 all the things that we went through taught me the meaning of lurve  recent entriesheartless souls something new when the skies filled with red hearts get-away vacation tell you one time my little note of dreams laugh my heart out lets dance in the rain repeatition dearest start |
LAYOUT
BANNER
COLORS
MINIICONS
|
|
bby imysm< 
