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i need
YOU ♥
&no one else
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i need
YOU ♥
&no one else
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 say it all |
 kikin says HI(=
stubborn,menjeng,shy love my bby<3 |
 31.7.07 @ 3:31 PMMOVE ON LAH
why must i still have the urge to keep reading her stupid blog mumy sae!!!! im sure by noe he had introduce yana to hys mum wth like i cre fook her lah i started to HATE her n hym lotlot mcm sengaje gitu beh tk fkkn org nye perasaan wtf shikin wake up dorang dah tkde kene mengene dgn diri kau lagi brr move on lah!!!!!! brr i dunnoe whether to bring erfan go n mit hys nenek at the west!! hmm.. lets just put it as TBC Labels: stop tinkin' of tt f* guy back to top? |
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30.7.07 @ 1:49 PM WHY??!
  Labels: karma back to top? |
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29.7.07 @ 2:34 PM GLAD
 sisters
 ilovemumy
 face like irwan hadi!!
 just in timeanother dae gg to be drifted away time past quickly tmrs 30th and its J.U.M.P in sch brr i dun feel like gg haha wastedkn the tickets, giving it to my classmateslah boring at home i did wad i wanna do feeling a lil lazy todae maybe cos went home at 11 yesterdae went shopping like err yar got lots of fan tings next wks its hys check up again n again im gg alone fuh.. its tough being a sgl parent u noe haiz ive pull it thru for 2 freaking daes 4 mre wks and if off cnt wait!!! niwae its nice to see them having a gr8 time together well, the wrld is round :) happy fer them
hurtful yet glad to see well im still trying to get thing over huahuahua must stop reading her bloglah i see no point on reading it anymre rite?? mustmust havent uploaded yesterdaes pics its still in my hp hmm i'll do it wen i haf the mood i guess its hurtin to see hys blog cos tt was my first intention of setting up tis blog its meant of me n hym but it didnt work out hmm.. i guess its true he didnt even haf feelings of me in the first place wif yana he did stuffs so sweet,together yet wif me im the only one doing it he cud withstand 1 mth plus not contacting me wen he's wif yana but it last for days wif me see the DIFFERENCE!! its never equal wadever it is life like tis Labels: grr back to top? |
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28.7.07 @ 7:26 AM REFLECTIONS
ITS SARAH BDAE 2DAE!!!! gg to her pit later gerrl ur one big kid todae.. hope it dosent rain yeah cnt wait to relax my mind seeing the waters of eastcoast memries do cum by i must be strg y must i tink fer hym he dosent even tink of me n my feelings brr.. toddles:j recaping bck on the things tt happen tis yr. brr, its not my yr.i must get over things. i realise tt they're very compatible. must tell myself to MOVE ON. but its so hard. tears run dwn my cheecks everything i recap on the memries. hmm. im burning my diaries. diaries tt i wrote my feelings on the relationship tt i gone theu wif him fer the past yrs.. shld i do it? burning all the letters tt i use to throw dwn stairs just to gif hym a msg. but all those tings are very precious things to me. but! why shld i keep it? all those feelings wanst true.it was all a story which ended to be a dream. and its not reality., the cards tt i just to gif hym,the gifts. brr. i guess those r just junk to hym now. hxhx. im strg!!! i cnt go thru tis fer the 3rd time. hxhxhxxh. conclusion is im just a very dumb,stupid,egoist,blurr,irritating,heartless and useless gerl now. hxhx. im experincing tis ood swings. brr. i hate me. everything tt i do still cnt make me ferget hym. i cnt distract, it will come bck in secs. wad?wad shld i do? must i live in other country so tt i cn start anew? or do stupid stuff tt i now i dun wan but doing it just to keep myself occupied.brr..shikin!!!!!!!! makeup ur mind. S0S!!! im a weak fool Labels: picking up the pieces back to top? |
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27.7.07 @ 10:20 PM NEW HAIR
 my hair
 wad does my eyes tell u?
he's still in my mind wen out wif ila 2dae meet syafiq(ila's boy) too, menybok!! irritating boy!! hxhx seeing them together reminds me of hym times we had wen were together brr wdv
spot tis cute card at the pasar mlm there its the same card tt he gave me wif the cute pink clock the card tt he wrote happy 2yrs -mths ann haha cudnt remember hxhx:( allsooo teringat times tt we went out, ila n me plus hys cuz n frens memries tt i cud erase hxhx had my hair cut 2dae tnx 2 ben muacks:) love my new hair its like bit jap gegerl la its CUTE ila 2 had a hair cut ooohhh yar b4 i fergot tnx shafiq 4 treating me LJS. hee:) well, ive plan on the things i wanna do n hope to achieve..
chnge my image lose weight..er till 55kg? mug fer sch, im left behind lotlot take up a part-time job $$$ be mre outspoken!!! im too shy in sch enjoy life though it sux smile alwaes do wad i wanna do!!! yeah:j well i guess i have to be determine, so tt i cud be the old kikin:j but tis time round hys nt wif me to be my motivator,my shoulder to cry on,my bby brr Labels: i want 3 wishes back to top? |
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@ 6:59 AM STOPPING IT
wads happenin nxt? everything in me is gg haywire!!!!! god noes wad im feeling yesterdae all was a total shock fer me i dun expect tt to happen yet it did wif a heavy heart, tears running dwn i have no one no one to console me frm the shits tt happen as if the weather noes wad im feeling so cold so sad sobs:( why must my life be tis wae? having to go thru lots of difficult paths? does tis path last fereva? yesterdae wif hym.. its probably be our lasts.. my eyes cnt bear to see hym.. my heart can bear to love hym.. its the last time.. we sat together in the same table having a meal its the last time .. we sat in the bus n being us its the last time.. we cud feel each other company n touch erfan.. coz of hym i still stand here and trying my best to move on he's one special gift tt gods eva given me :( im hopeless i cuden't feel anything i dun hav a heart its too much wad i did im in the wrg i cnt be her he's happy wif her wif me, thers only lies his love is nvr fer me im just foolish foolish to think and feel tt he hav feelings fer me i cnt stop cryin since yesterdae!!! urgh..shits why am i a cry baby im so weak tis lil space is wher i post my feelings howi wish it cud talk hxhxhx . . . khai... tnx fer the lies tnx fer the sweetness tnx fer the thing tt u eva did to me in our 2 yrs 8 mths relationship plus.. hxhx its not meant to be im nt fer u n u noe it all along thers no space in ur heart for me u just kept trying all along rite? do tkc don't do all the stupid stuff tt u told me dun turn bck to ur old life stop lying it just hurt to see u lie hxhx u left erfan wif me tnx he's my only one though we cnt be a family like wad u wish fer during our ann look on the bright side of ur life u haf one of the wonderful gerl in tis werld who loves u soo much hu wud to anything fer u well thers mre to her which only u noe im glad u made ur choice n stop me frm putting hope remember? the future tt we plan for.. i guess, we nid to chnge it sighs:( i dun noe if u wud eva miss me but im sure u wud miss ur lil boy i promise u tt i will tkc of hym give hym all the love tt i cud. i guess tts it huh btwn us. :(:(:(:(:(:( . . yana.. congrats.. hope u guys wud have a wonderful relationship i wud pray fer u guys aite give hym alll the love bt dun giv in too much on hym he loves u lots tkc of hym n avoid hym frm turning bck to his old life time to go bck to sq one Labels: fractured back to top? |
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25.7.07 @ 9:30 AM ONE LAST
tot of making yesterdae the last dae of mitting him,having him in my life but i realise tt i CAN'T the last dae fer me wud be the dae i take my last breath and the dae tt i close my eyes brr.. i dont know why i love him tt much i dont have any reasons does ppl in love feel tis? well things chnge some r pretty obvious past isn't the past fer me yet all i nid is tt one ting tt cud chnge mylife again niwae the recent harry porter movie was nt wad i expected i prefer the old ones tis one was slow moving hahas well fer hym hope he wud not do da stupid stuff tt he wans grr who am i to stop him wtf but hopehope not BORING !!!!!!! nthing to do sae at hm.. sitting.lazying.dreaming.sleeping brr.. wanna go out but the weather sux fan still unwell and if i bring him out he'll be even mre sicker grr.. wad shld i do??? urgh.... :( well, i went to do some of tis quizes hahaha check it out
Labels: missing pieces in me back to top? |
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23.7.07 @ 3:57 PM RE-LIVE THE PAST PLS
why cnt i just cntrl myself!!
hatehate
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things r over y cnt i open my eyes n see how the worls is treating me all is cause of me
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unsure
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not being love only being someones FOOL
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stupid?
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yes
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i cnt be her im nt me
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i dnt know it sticks to me like super glue
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i just miss my old life old kikin old me
Labels: soulmate back to top? |
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22.7.07 @ 7:14 PM YADAYADAYADA
BRR.. had a tiring dae, though i spent half of my dae at hm boring kn?? but gg out wif them make me mre tired there's tis carnival at tamp den some artise is cuming dwn tot of gg wif them lah bt i cnt take it lah tired so i headed hm first tmrs sch i must start anew be sum1 tt i wanna be achieve wad i tot i cnt well, no one here to push me now im all on my own grr sob.sobs hate wad i see feel a lil hurt but.. MUST FACE REALITY its nt meant to be wish u guys everending love n hope tt ur happy aite:j hmm.. its time fer me to go imnt cuming bck i think well i just read tis mag and it tells bout love love is about sacrificing to see the one u love happy n smiling wif wad they wan hmmm well maybe thers sum1 out there meant fer me :'( maybe thru my journey of watching erfan grow i wud find tt special one bt if its fated to be tt no ones fer me den its my luck :( brr... CHEER UP KIKIN!!!!! my frens are there fer me my bby hope 2 mit u in my dreams n alwaes i'll wait rite here 4 u Labels: wait fer u back to top? |
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21.7.07 @ 10:12 PM SAVE ME
 sleepyme
 cute cookie tt mumy bought fer me
brr had a fun time today tings are s l o w l y changing i cn feel it hehehe* went to mit xy n qm miss them lots tnk god there alwaes there muacks* lurve u guys played mahjong at xy's place haha. won 2 games though weee
den we watched DVD
how i wish i was Amanda Binds in the movie having a very hot, sensitive and romatic guy like she was dating. fuh!!!
hehehe
wake up kikin!!!
each time i tink bout the past
i feel stupid
STUPID
REALLY STUPID HXHX
let end it here; all tt sweetness was just merely a dream love is blind
back to top?
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20.7.07 @ 11:48 AM I NEED YOU
i cudnt live i cufnt breathe w/ot u by my side
nvr will i let u goeven if i haf to wait for u 4eve i will and my heart u'll alwaes b from now n alwaes no matter wad no matter wher it will stay here 4ever all of wad i wan to know
i got to know it yesterdae sobsobs wad i feel after i gt to knoe all those hidden truth? stupid.sad.idiot
ive made decision to leave as i cnt take it he is a player, tts been playing with our hearts bt i still love him i cnt do w/ot him hw am i to move on? i nid hym here wan u to hold my hand and support me wen i falll hmm..
god pls help me pull thru tis
first dae after 190707 hx.hx tough though must distract myself 
still missing hym
still not use to being lyke tis
Labels: hurt back to top? |
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19.7.07 @ 9:34 AM $%^&
cnt take it no mre ive made my decision i dun wan to pressurize u i dun wan to be hurt in ur game i guess its better off tt we be frens things are wae to much at times im not used to all tis stuff well by being frens bby cn have hys life cn do anything he wants without hurting others $%^& dae!!!!!!!!! without u things wud chnge again no mre phone calls no mre swet msgs no mre U u cn put down the things tt ive given u u cn nw filled ur bedroom with photos of u n her no one wud ask y no mre questions as everything is clear Labels: single mum back to top? |
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18.7.07 @ 10:42 PM THE 18TH
there goes my 180707 wad a dae to start and end brr.. poor bby fan he's sick since yesterdae. hxhx i pity hym, he cnt clep well and kept coughing can tell tt theres lot of lendir in hys body and his temperature got higher hxhx. i feel tt im a bad mother am i ?????? well initial plan for the dae was to meet wif bby.. BUT BUT shits happen agin lar so wth cnt do anything he switched of his hp again n yar i dunnoe wherr he went to so.. tooooot!!!!! hate hate nearly gave up on things brr stubborn me to still love hym though at times i jst feel like being stabb though r'ship to go thru all i need is STRENGTH, PATIENCE,TRUTH Labels: HATE back to top? |
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17.7.07 @ 10:30 AM CRASHING TP
 snapsnap:) abused by hym
 at tp lib
 qm slacking..
 bludging tummy
 the kids show tt we're watchingcute bt boring
actually i had sch but i skip it cz i had no mood fer it.notynoty. met qm and had lunch wif her at mcd. brr. fast food again fer me. I dunnoe wher bby went to or doing as he off hys phone hxhxhxhxhxhx:( shits happen again yesterdae after i gt to noe stuffs sitting on the fence still distracted MY MIND off things tt i tend to assume the tp dae was err.boring plus nice. haha. i dunnoe lar. we lepak at lots of places there. met lotlot of my frens. hehehe. after xy's done wif her project meeting, we're off to tm.. brr.. tm AGAIN?? yupyup. went to the metro sale. it was damn packed plus messy. haha. went round and round went home after tt. boring kn.. hxhx. at night wen i get to know all those shits. my heart shattered. its like losing my mind. why am i treated with all this lies bby? all this shits, its like ur putting me at fault. i know im in the wrg of gg to fir's hse bt i didnt do stupid shits lar yet you, contacting bck wif her. keeping all this stuff frm me n yet things are getting worse. y cn u just b true. i dun mind getting hurt by the truth rather than being hurt by lies. the thing tt i cnt take it is tt me being ur gerl is unable to do anything. yet other are able to dlt ur gerl comments n stuff. bby u noe tt i love u n i wan u. yet i still dnt undertsnd y ur doing all this shits to me and tell me tt u wun giv up on me.are u testing me? testing my patience??? pls just hit me wif ur true feelings. i beg u* 18/7/07 suprise awaiting.
Labels: hate to luve u back to top? |
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14.7.07 @ 10:20 AM THE 13TH
yesterdae fridae the 13th happy 10th mthsary to them brr got to know all the shits im feeling all those reason he gave was'nt gd enuf fer me bt its ok if he still lurv her let it be i cnt force and stop some1 from loving whu they wan bt after yesterdae i think tink think well i must not be too serius in this relationship tt we're in must not hope too much out of it sobsobs. cried lots sae shitshit. buruk sae hoping fer da best of of tis r'ship things meant to be will alwaes find its wae & top thers's pics of the mee grg tt me n bby cooked yesterdae it looks appatizing though but the taste turns out bit salty n yar had a great time wif hym yesterdae though shits happen
lurve u my ddy alwaes*
I always needed time on my own I never thought I'd need you there when I cry And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now? When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day And make it OK I miss you I've never felt this way before Everything that I do Reminds me of you And the clothes you left they lie on my floor And they smell just like you I love the things that you do We were made for each other Out here forever I know we were All I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I do I give my heart and soul I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me Labels: again i fall back to top? |
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12.7.07 @ 1:14 PM PERASAN
shits things happen todae it cause me a dae brr.. hatehate it shows ur feeling s towards me sumting wrg wif babys shirt and he didnt went to sch as he dosent haf anther 1. hxhx. feel like buying him one mre shirt and sch pants fer hym. so if ever thers emergency thingy like tis happens he'd go to sch. well i tot of watching harry porter together wif hym in the mrg since he's not schling but i PERASAN LAR. brr. when i think bck again i feel stupid sae. eee!!!! i dun like the feeling. hatehate i didnt went to sch coz of tt shitty ting. BODOH lah kikin i den went bck to tamp and do my own stuff!! EMO sae;) well baby wants to switch off hys phone coz tkt hys teacher or wad cl hym and asking hym y he didnt atten cls. bt he said to me tt he will msg n call me so he wants me to save my dying batt brr but at last he didnt even so what he saes la grrr!! i wonder where he went and what is he doing. brr deep dwn in me i feel tt he didnt cre bt me. its like feelings fading. khai before was diff. he tried everywae to cntc jst to knoe tt ur ok n where u are. bt he's jsut different. well we didnt mit todae cz he sae he teman mama gi police station hxhxhx dunnoe lah. padahal i da bored the bus. why cnt he come up wif an alternative of me following them. brr.. n its like coincident mama cl after papa? like so fast.,, hhxhx dunnoelah mlz nk tink2. baby if ur reading tis just to let u knoe tt i feel ur love slipping away frm me :( Labels: stupid back to top? |
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 hur love♥
hys my pillar of strength |
hur guy♥
since 020308 all the things that we went through taught me the meaning of lurve  recent entriesheartless souls something new when the skies filled with red hearts get-away vacation tell you one time my little note of dreams laugh my heart out lets dance in the rain repeatition dearest start |
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